Wednesday Humor - Jokes

Honestly, all of these are pretty funny.

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'

So he tied her up and went golfing.

****************************** ***********

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I just won the lottery!'
The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?'
'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'

****************************** **************

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

****************************** *******

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'

****************************** ****** ***********

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all something.

We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.'

'Thank God,' said an elderly nun at the back.

'I'm so tired of chardonnay.

****************************** **************
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'

The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'

The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

****************************** ****************************** ***

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.

On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

**************** ***************************

Da Boss!

Website: www.digitalsmind.com Email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Latest Content

  • In Windows 10, you can still give your favorite MS-DOS application a fancy icon
    Written by

    Da Boss!

    In Windows 10, you can still give your favorite MS-DOS application a fancy icon This is actually a pretty cool little trick and I…
    Read more...
  • Microsoft's new Surface Pro - Available for Pre-Order
    Written by

    Da Boss!

    Microsoft's new Surface Pro - Available for Pre-Order I would love to get a Surface Pro but, the…
    Read more...
  • Get Back the WinX power user menu Control Panel Post Creators Udpate
    Written by

    Da Boss!

    Get Back the WinX power user menu Control Panel Post Creators Udpate As MS moves more and more of the old school…
    Read more...
  • Nearly all WannaCry victims were running Windows 7
    Written by

    Da Boss!

    Nearly all WannaCry victims were running Windows 7 Yep... and this will continue until people start to get…
    Read more...
  • New Tool Could Liberate PCs Infected With WannaCry
    Written by

    Da Boss!

    New Tool Could Liberate PCs Infected With WannaCry Huh....well, if you happen to be one of the MANY…
    Read more...

Visit the Digitalsmind Video YouTube Page!

Did you know we have a video page on YouTube? 

Well... WE DO! 

Check us out! 

- Our Video page.